Letter To Jackie

Dear Jackie ,

I was sorry to hear about what happened to you. When I saw the picture of you that your brother posted on my page , it was heart breaking.
Life sucks. It blows. It hands you a lemon when you want a cookie.
I want a cookie every day. But I can’t have a cookie every day. With my condition , I shouldn’t be eating anything sweet. What am I talking about? I have A Fib ( irregular heart beat , a form of heart disease ) , and type two diabetes. Of the two , having diabetes sucks the most. It scares me the most , because of the complications that go along with it. I’m  eating healthier now , and have been feeling so much better because of it. My blood sugar was peaking for so long , and I felt so awful almost daily for about six months. If I could go back to when it started , and just realized what was causing me to feel that way , and changed my diet , I would.  Every day , I regret not doing that. I kick myself in the balls every day. I have no one to blame but myself.
I take my medication (except for metformin , I don’t need that anymore) every day , and try to live with it. But it’s not easy. Sometimes , I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up. I wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore. I’ve even considered a combination of sleeping pills and alcohol. Just in case. That will always be an option.
Enough about my worries.
I live in an old apartment building in down town Monett , just a few miles from Tony and Sandy. It’s right across the street from my bank , and City Hall , where I pay my utility bill , and the library , where I admit , that I don’t visit enough. The last apartment I had , was crawling with roaches. I hated that place. I was there for almost for months before I finally had to move out , because I couldn’t pay rent anymore , even though I was on unemployment at the time , but hadn’t reported in person for , I think two months straight. Sandy wanted me to go to a homeless shelter , but I didn’t want to , and , to shorten a long story , I cut my wrist open. Tony and Sandy found me , and called the police. At the hospital , as I was getting stitched up , I volunteered to enter the psychiatric ward. I was there for almost two weeks. I met some really nice people who were going through their own crap. One of them was Jennifer. She was probably the sweetest person there. She’s a hugger. She likes to hug people. One day , she asked me my last name. When I told her , she said ,’That’s my last name. Wouldn’t it be nice if we were long lost cousins?’
I doubt if she has any Gundys in her family tree.
After I got out of the hospital , I had no choice but to stay in a homeless shelter , in Springfield. I was there for three months before I had to leave ( you can only stay there three months at a time ). We had to be out of the dorms at eight every morning so they could close up , until for o’clock , except on weekends. You had several choices as to what you were going to do , look for work , wander around aimlessly , walk to the library , or walk to Bill’s Place , a local hangout for the homeless and down on their luck. I chose to walk to Bill’s Place every day , and just hang out all day , and sometimes get a free meal. I also went to the library a lot and read quite a few books in my room , which I shared with three other guys , most of the time.
From time to time , I find myself missing my time in Springfield. I miss walking to Bill’s Place , the company of some of the guys that I got to know , the classes we had to take every week , the bible studies , and others. The only thing that I don’t miss about it , were the mandatory daily chores. Waiting in line to sign up for a chore every day , and sometimes getting up at four – thirty , five a.m. ,  just to sign up. That sucked. The chores themselves (most of them , anyway) were not bad.
After getting out of the shelter , I stayed in a cheap motel across the street from the only  Wal mart , here in Monett. I was there for almost two months before getting this apartment. I was approved for disability while living there. It’s hardly enough to live on every month. Most of it goes to rent and utilities. I had basic cable for almost a year , but I could no longer keep up with the bills , and cancelled it. I still have basic internet , and can barely keep up with that.
I have some personal blogs that I post my short stories on. This is one of them. But , I don’t spend as much time as I would like to , on them , even though I have nothing but time on my hands. I can never decide what to do with most of my time. I’m good at that.
I can’t think of much else to say here , so I’ll just say good bye for now.

Peace and love , from Stan …


Obama Made Me Do It : How I Became A Obama Bot

The Obama Journal

untitled (171)  Former McCain supporter reveals how she became a Obama bot.

Loony liberals love to complain that conservatives blame everything on Obama , but that simply is not the case. Everything bad that happens in America is indeed Barack Obama’s fault , and I’ll tell you why. Obama is a known communist , a Muslim , believes in global warming , Darwin’s theory of evolution , does not believe in God , and is a gay sympathizer. Anyone who is a communist , a Muslim , believes in global warming , Darwin’s theory of evolution , does not believe in God , or is gay , or a gay sympathizer , is evil , and cursed by God. It’s a simple fact.

The following story is a perfect example of how evil this tyrannical dictator is. From shredding the constitution , to his blatant support of the Nazi like LGBT movement , this man…

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Was Obama’s Mother A Space Alien?

The Obama Journal

Yes , according to a new , anonymous  source.

    Not long after Barack Obama’s first election into the White House , the Birther movement was born. Claims that he was a foreigner , born in Kenya and therefore not eligible for the presidency. They immediately demanded to see his birth certificate as proof of his citizenship , and when it was eventually produced , they insisted it was genuine , even though it was quickly proven to be a fake , a cheap photo shopped forgery. The most compelling case of forgery came from Alex Jones on his radio program , infowars.

Whether you believe in the Birther claim or not , the question is now irrelevant. Now , according to Mr. Jones , there is more compelling evidence revealing the true origins of Barack Obama. On his radio program , yesterday , Mr. Jones made a startling claim :

“Ladies and gentleman , and fellow patriotic gun loving…

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Obama’s Secret Plot To Assasinate Santa Claus

The Obama Journal

This week Fox News uncovered a secret plot by the president to assassinate Santa Claus , and then nuke the North Pole to cover it up. This is just one of many scandals that have plagued the White House since Obama took office seven years ago.

“This confirms what we’ve known all along ,” said Megan Kelly , who once insisted that Santa is white. “The communist , liberal , atheist plot to undermine , and ultimately destroy Christmas for Christians all over America! They’ve been at it for years because they’re jealous that we have something real to believe in and they don’t. This is their final nail on the coffin , and Christmas will be destroyed forever! Oh God , I think I’m going to faint!”

Fox did not reveal its source for fear it would be ridiculed and harassed by the communist , liberal press , and be accused…

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Black Sabbath , Spiral Architect

More cool lyrics and music from the coolest band in the world …
a song about DNA , life , spirituality …

Sorcerers of madness selling me their time ,
child of God sitting in the sun giving peace of mind ,
fictional seduction on a black snow sky ,
sadness kills the superman , even fathers cry ,
of all the things I value most of all ,
I look inside myself and see my world and know that it is good …
you know that I should.

Superstitious century , didn’t time go slow ,
separating sanity , watching children grow ,
synchronated undertaker , spiral skies ,
silver ships on plasmic oceans in disguise ,
of all the things I value most of all ,
I see my memories and feel their warmth and know that they are good …
you know that I should.

Watching eyes of celluloid tell you how to live ,
metaphoric motor replay , give , give , give ,
laughter , kissing , love is showing me the way ,
spiral city architect , I build , you pay ,
of all the things I value most in life ,
I look upon my earth and feel the warmth and know that it is good …
you know that I should.

Black Sabbath , A National Acrobat

Cool lyrics , and music from the coolest band in the world …

I am the world that hides the universal secret of all time ,
destruction of the empty spaces is my one and only crime ,
I’ve lived a thousand times , I found out what it means to be believed ,
the thoughts and images , the unborn child that never was conceived.

When little worlds collide , I’m trapped inside my embryonic cell ,
and flashing memories are cast into the never-ending well ,
the name that scorns the face , the child that never sees the cause of man ,
the deathly darkness that belies the fate of those who never ran.

You gotta believe , yeah , I’m talking to you ,
well , I know it’s hard for you to know the reasons why ,
and I know you’ll understand more when it’s time to die ,
don’t believe the life you have will be the only one ,
you have to let your body sleep to let your soul live on.

I want you to listen! I’m trying to get through ,
Love has given life to you and now it’s your concern ,
unseen eyes of inner light will make your soul return ,
still I look but not to touch , the seeds of life are sown ,
curtain of the future falls , the secret stays unknown.

Just remember , love is life and hate is living death ,
treat your life for what it’s worth and live for every breath ,
looking back I’ve lived and loved but now I’m wondering ,
here I wait and only guess what this next life will bring , ha! ha!

The Boy Who Farted Too Much

The boy farted in class , causing his teachers and fellow students to laugh ,

he farted between classes on students in the halls ,

he farted in the boy’s room stalls ,

he farted here , he farted there , he farted everywhere ,

he farted during lunch , causing many a stomach to vomit much ,

sitting in crowds , he picked his nose and farted loud ,

he crapped his pants wherever he went , creating quite a scent ,

some people called him Pepe Le Pew ,

and you would too if the boy who farted too much , farted on you.